Week 2 – Baby Steps

Today is week 2 since I started working on taking care of myself again. In the first week, all I did was replace soda with water. I am now soda-free for 8 days! My goal for this week is to double the amount of daily water intake. Im taking this journey in baby steps. I’m starting slow, making one change at a time.

I used to think I understood the concept of taking baby steps but to be honest I didn’t really “get it“. I think my idea of baby steps meant to take a few baby steps the first week then forge ahead running like a track star. Unfortunately the end result usually meant disaster, even when I had some great progress for a short stint. No that’s not the concept of baby steps.

It takes a while for babies to get up and walk. It’s not an overnight process or a one week, one month process. It actually starts with scooting, then crawling, then walking and falling, and getting back up…repeat…walking, falling and getting back up. I never liked falling. I still don’t. I never saw falling as part of the process. Falling meant failure to me and I would sit there and be paralyzed causing me to just give up. I’ve come to realize that success does not happen to those who never fail but success comes to those who fail but keep getting back up and never quitting. “Baby steps = GIANT results” – a friend of mine has been saying this to me lately. I think it has finally sunk in. I’m sure that God has put this woman in my life for such a time as this, a time for me to get back to being serious about taking care of myself.

When I started this journey 4 years ago I made great progress but had many failures. I couldn’t get past my failures and I couldn’t embrace my progress because I set the bar so high that I couldn’t reach it. In doing that I ended up sabotaging myself and gained back most of the weight I had lost. It was a terrible cycle for me. I have finally learned that I cannot and will not get to my goal of losing all the weight I want to lose in an unrealistic amount of time. I have to give myself some grace to fail and grace to get back up. I have to celebrate the small victories because as time goes on and I continue to keep walking those victories will help move me forward.

Obviously I cannot do this alone, I need the power of the Holy Spirit to help me as I develop the fruit of self control. It is time, I know I’m ready. I see God’s hand everywhere shifting things and bringing people into my life who are on the same journey. It’s essential that I pay attention and not let this appointed time pass me by. There is real work for me to do for the Kingdom of God and I need to be prepared spiritually and physically to be able to fulfill the tasks.

I am excited to start this journey yet not so excited that I forget the journey starts one step at a time. No sprinting, no racing, no striving, no quitting…just keeping my focus on Jesus, the author and finisher of my faith. He will keep me walking slow and steady as I yield and surrender to His plans for me. I can’t wait to see the results, even it it takes a long time. I’m in it for the long haul, I’ve made up my mind and my decision is firm. Thank you for joining me in this journey.

God Bless you all.

  

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Baby Steps

There is nothing like watching a baby learn to walk. This past weekend the Lord taught me a lesson about myself from watching a baby walk. When a baby walks and falls down, he may or may not cry…he may crawl a few steps and then get back up or he may just laugh and get back up. Did you notice anything? That baby will GET BACK UP regardless of what happens at the time he falls. No matter how many times he falls, he gets back up. If he doesn’t feel confident right away, he crawls a little but then he gets right back up and walks again. No matter how wobbly, no matter if his daddy is there calling to him “Come on, come to daddy” No matter if he just sees something ahead that catches his eye he will go for it. He is not going to just sit there and cry and never stop trying to walk.

I know what you’re thinking….DUH!

YUP, it’s a DUH! I’m thinking that’s part of my problem, my mind always wants to complicate things. You would think that a person like myself, who has been called the Queen of Efficiency because I can analyze a problem and figure out pretty quickly how to fix it or change a process to complete the work more efficiently, that I would be able to do that in my own personal life. You would think that but NOPE, not me. Not Zenice. Oh no, I have to make a mountain out of a molehill and only see the red X’s of failure and defeat and not the gold stars of progress. I have to complicate things, have my pity parties and just plain give up. Or at least, that’s how I used to operate.

As I have previously written 2011 was a good year for me in terms of losing weight but then 2012 was not so good. For the majority of 2012 I was tormented in my mind about why I couldn’t get back on track with my goals. I prayed and asked the Lord to show me where I went wrong and I asked Him to help me get back on track. I would have days where I would catch a wave of motivation and then a few days later the wave was over. I can’t tell you how many false starts I had in 2012 trying not to gain the weight back. It all failed and the bottom line was that I gained my weight back little by little and now I am almost back to where I was at the beginning of 2011. But the good news is that I am 15 lbs lighter than I was in 2011 when I started our weight-loss challenge at work called “Break Your Boundaries”. Today was our weigh-in day for the 2013 Break Your Boundaries challenge and when I compared my stats it dawned on me how silly I can be. I only need to lose 17.5 lbs to be where I was at the end of the 2011 challenge. I think I am in a good position to get back to that point and then take it further. I am actually pretty confident that I will take it further because not one of my actual goals has a number on it. If I lose 15 or 100 lbs this year I intend to be thankful and grateful for any progress. I just really want to be healthy so I can do the work the Lord is calling me to do.

The Lord really showed me where I went wrong back in 2011 with the whole baby walking analogy. He showed me that where I was looking at the scale and looking at the number 100 (which is how many pounds I wanted to lose) I failed to keep my eyes on Jesus. I kept saying that I was looking to Him but I kept on looking away.  Instead of allowing the Holy Spirit to guide me in my food choices consistently I would get overconfident and stop following His lead and just run on by myself. If I failed (and I failed a lot) I didn’t dust myself off and get back up. No, it took a while and yet He would call to me saying “come on, you can do it” but I didn’t move. I stayed stuck in my misery. Unlike the baby who doesn’t know that it is his goal to walk because it’s just a natural instinctive thing for him to want to get up and move like everyone else, I thought that if I kept my focus on the goal that I would reach the goal. What I have come to realize is that I need to make a goal and then pray about my goal and then keep my eyes on Jesus and He will help me reach the goal.

So I’m taking on a new mindset this year and I have my goals written. I have my action steps planned. I’m praying for my goals daily.  I’m asking the Holy Spirit to help me with my food choices.  I’m keeping my eyes on Jesus at all times.  If I fall, I will maybe cry a little, laugh a little or crawl a little but just like the baby I WILL GET BACK UP!

 

baby-learning-to-walk

I Died Last Night!

It was bound to happen, It was time afterall. So after two days of vegging out on the couch watching 4 seasons of Burn Notice and ordering food from the local pizza place three times I finally hit the bottom of the pit that I was dwelling in for a few months now and there was nothing more that I could do but die. Praise God I made the decision to die to my flesh and start letting the Lord get through to my thick little skull. All day long for both days I saw glimpses of God speaking to my heart and I couldn’t take you back to those things that I read because they came from several directions but the signs were clear to me that it was time to get up and out of the pit, not on my own but by putting my hand in the Lord’s hand and allowing Him to help me climb out. I’ve been frequenting the pit that I had once deserted and I think I was starting to get comfortable there again. Oh I tried to get out. I stepped out a few times and thought I was okay. I tried to motivate myself to do the things that I knew the Lord wanted me to do. He called me to lose weight, lose sin, lose bondage, etc. I was running a good race and somehow something cut in on me and threw me for a loop and there I was back in that pit. I didn’t want to be there but I found that I just couldn’t get out. I let the smallest things get in the way of my walk with Jesus. I walked right back into sin.

But last night I was granted true repentance from God. I know it was true repentance because I’ve repented so many times over the past couple months and yet I still sat in the pit shackled to the chains that bound me to the sin of gluttony. I was convinced in my head that I was trying to get control of it but I was in total darkness and could not even see my hand in front of me. I was blind and separated from God because of my sin.

I am amazed continually at how much Love that Jesus has for me. I being the fleshly selfish human that I am would have given up on me a long time ago. But not Jesus, He continues to pursue me even when I am in rebellion. WHY? Why would He continue to pursue me when I continue to fail Him over and over and over? He died on that cross over two thousand years ago to save me not because I was worthy but because He loved me. And the Word of God says He will never leave me nor forsake me and so therefore He continues to pursue me and waits for me to turn from the sins that bind me in darkness and look at Him and let the Light of His Love permeate me to the core. I can relate to why Adam and Eve hid in the garden when they sinned. I know why now, they were separated from God because of their sin and they no longer knew how He would respond. Their sin blinded them and put them in darkness so they no longer had a connection to God. I lost my connection to God because I was choosing food over Jesus. Ugh! Just writing that pains my heart but it is the truth. I know you might be thinking that I am being hard on myself and I hope that is not what you are thinking because the bottom line is that sin is sin.  I didn’t make the rules. I didn’t write the Bible. God did, He set the standard and we can try to minimize it based on our cultural ideas or upbringing but it won’t hold up to the Word of God. I have to be honest with myself and examine my own heart and allow the Holy Spirit to really examine my heart and show it to me. I cannot do anything without Him. I have to get right with God when my life is not lining up with what He has set forth for me. I have the choice. Every day, every hour, every moment. I have the choice to choose to live in obedience to God or live in sin. There’s no middle ground. So as I came to the place of true repentance I received the refreshing that is promised in the Word. (Acts 3:19)

I woke up today with a new perspective, I woke up with a clear vision. I’ve been resurrected (if you will).  The Word says we are to crucify our flesh, well guess what I died last night and I am so glad I did because I feel so much better now. I am connected with my savior once again. I have taken my place once again as the princess of the King. I refuse to listen any more to the lies of the enemy that condemn me and keep me in the pit of darkness and despair. I am free because Christ has set me free. I will move forward and allow the Holy Spirit to challenge me and search me every day and show me my heart so that each day I live to honor Jesus Christ with my life and give glory to God. I know this time will be different, I feel it and I am determined to walk this out and not let anything else get in the way. Today I re-commit to offering my body as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God by choosing to eat the way He wants me to eat and not allow the sin of gluttony to control me. For every temptation has a way out, I just have to keep my eyes open and choose to take the way out every day, every hour, every moment for the rest of my days. Praise God I have a choice, as long as there is breath of life in my nostrils I have the opportunity to honor God with my body, my mind, my whole life. This is my choice. This is my commitment. Thank you Jesus!

Galatians 5:24 ~ Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

Romans 6:11 Even so consider yourselves to be dead to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus.

Colossians 3:3 For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 ~ Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

Remember who you are

“Remember who you are”

These were the words that stuck with me from the Made to Crave session from Lysa TerKeurst that I was watching today. I think I forgot for a few days who I am. I am God’s child, I am God’s temple, I am God’s co-worker, I am God’s workmanship, I am complete in Christ. I forgot who I was for a few days and allowed myself to indulge my flesh with food and more food. I felt miserable but instead of reaching for the food that Jesus talked about to the Samaritan woman in John chapter 4 I indulged my flesh. John 4:32 says “But he said to them, “I have food to eat that you know nothing about.” and John 4:34 “My food,” said Jesus, “is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work.”

I am so amazed at my Lord and Savior because right after I was remembering these verses I turned back on the Made to Crave session and guess what she started talking about? You got it she started talking about the story of the Samaritan woman. I was floored. I was just amazed and then she took it a step further and gave us this verse: “Romans 14:20 Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food.”

Well while I was upstairs walking on the treadmill before I started writing this I repented for walking back into indulging my flesh with food instead of seeking and craving Him. I am also reminded of the Word the Lord gave me back about 6 months ago. He gave me this:
Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” I had apparently forgotten that one too because the last few days I was very discouraged and that is what drove me to eat so much. Not making excuses here but just being real, I used my discouragement to give me license to indulge my flesh. Boy if that isn’t sad but it’s what we do. I know I am not the only person with this struggle. I know I am not the only one who has this problem, no but the solution is always right there. We just have to choose to do the right thing and not let our flesh take over. This is why we are called to crucify the flesh daily.

God is so good!

Choices

In thinking about how we all need to make changes that will lead us in the direction of better health and fitness, I realized that I have finally proven to myself that I can persevere. I may slip up at times and choose something that is not healthy to eat but I always have the opportunity to make the next choice count. This past week there was a guest at our department meeting at work that was talking about internal stressors and she made an example about a woman who is on a diet that eats a big piece of cake and then thinks to herself  “Oh no, I messed up so I’ll start again next Monday” and it’s Tuesday. Then she added that the person should say “I’ll start again tomorrow.”  Well my first thought was why wait until tomorrow. I think if we mess up or feel like we’ve messed up why not make the next choice count or the next meal count. Why not take an extra walk today to counter that  big piece of cake? It’s all about choices, either we choose to move toward better health or not. I was really proud of myself for thinking that so quickly and it just proves to me that I really do have a new mindset. Praise God! It is only because of Him that I am where I am today. What healthy choice do you need to make today to set you in the direction of better health?

Welcome!

Thanks for stopping by. This is the first of many posts that I intend to write about my journey with Jesus Christ in learning to live abundantly and be balanced in mind, body, soul and spirit. I chose the name Losing4Christ because that’s exactly what I desire to do. I desire to lose a lot of things for my Savior and say as Paul did in Philippians 3:7-9 ~ “But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ  and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith.”

So just to give an example of some of the things I intend to lose on this journey, I’ve created a short list below:

  1. Weight
  2. Sin
  3. Bondage
  4. Damaged Emotions
  5. Lack of discipline
  6. Fear
  7. Control

We’ll talk more about this list later on.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 ~ Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.