Week 2 – Baby Steps

Today is week 2 since I started working on taking care of myself again. In the first week, all I did was replace soda with water. I am now soda-free for 8 days! My goal for this week is to double the amount of daily water intake. Im taking this journey in baby steps. I’m starting slow, making one change at a time.

I used to think I understood the concept of taking baby steps but to be honest I didn’t really “get it“. I think my idea of baby steps meant to take a few baby steps the first week then forge ahead running like a track star. Unfortunately the end result usually meant disaster, even when I had some great progress for a short stint. No that’s not the concept of baby steps.

It takes a while for babies to get up and walk. It’s not an overnight process or a one week, one month process. It actually starts with scooting, then crawling, then walking and falling, and getting back up…repeat…walking, falling and getting back up. I never liked falling. I still don’t. I never saw falling as part of the process. Falling meant failure to me and I would sit there and be paralyzed causing me to just give up. I’ve come to realize that success does not happen to those who never fail but success comes to those who fail but keep getting back up and never quitting. “Baby steps = GIANT results” – a friend of mine has been saying this to me lately. I think it has finally sunk in. I’m sure that God has put this woman in my life for such a time as this, a time for me to get back to being serious about taking care of myself.

When I started this journey 4 years ago I made great progress but had many failures. I couldn’t get past my failures and I couldn’t embrace my progress because I set the bar so high that I couldn’t reach it. In doing that I ended up sabotaging myself and gained back most of the weight I had lost. It was a terrible cycle for me. I have finally learned that I cannot and will not get to my goal of losing all the weight I want to lose in an unrealistic amount of time. I have to give myself some grace to fail and grace to get back up. I have to celebrate the small victories because as time goes on and I continue to keep walking those victories will help move me forward.

Obviously I cannot do this alone, I need the power of the Holy Spirit to help me as I develop the fruit of self control. It is time, I know I’m ready. I see God’s hand everywhere shifting things and bringing people into my life who are on the same journey. It’s essential that I pay attention and not let this appointed time pass me by. There is real work for me to do for the Kingdom of God and I need to be prepared spiritually and physically to be able to fulfill the tasks.

I am excited to start this journey yet not so excited that I forget the journey starts one step at a time. No sprinting, no racing, no striving, no quitting…just keeping my focus on Jesus, the author and finisher of my faith. He will keep me walking slow and steady as I yield and surrender to His plans for me. I can’t wait to see the results, even it it takes a long time. I’m in it for the long haul, I’ve made up my mind and my decision is firm. Thank you for joining me in this journey.

God Bless you all.


Decision Day 8/5/2015

And so I go back to the beginning where Losing4Christ began. Today is decision day for me and I’m going for it once again but this time will be different, this time I will keep my commitment to God and to myself.

My commitment is this…I will take care of my body as it is the temple of the Holy Spirit. I cannot do this in my own strength but I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I will allow myself to fall and make sure to get up and ask the Lord to dust me off and set me back on my path. I will give myself grace. I will not forget who I am and who I belong to – JESUS! I will keep my focus on Jesus. I will prepare myself for the work He is calling me to do by caring for my body – this means drinking more water, eating clean and exercising at least 5 times a week.

I cannot change my past but I can learn from it and I know that the time is now to move forward. It must be a priority in my life and today August 5, 2015 I am making this commitment. Amen!



Repost: Get Back Up Already!

I started reading my blogs today from the very beginning. This one from 6/22/11 hit me between the eyes. Funny how my own words have come to bite me in the butt. Well I suppose if they get me off my butt and back into action again then they have served their purpose. I’m going to repost those words here for myself and anyone else who might need a little motivation.

Get Back Up Already! written 6/22/11

For the past few weeks I had a big problem…INERTIA. What is INERTIA? A quick Google lookup will give you this definition ” A tendency to do nothing or to remain unchanged” and Dictionary.com gives this definition: “inertness, especially with regard to effort, motion, action, and the like; inactivity; sluggishness.” Okay now stay with me here, I have been pondering this word INERTIA for a little while now and how it relates to my lack of exercise over the past few weeks.

Did you see the definitions? I see a lot of insight in this word. First I see that having this problem is keeping me at a stand still and unchanged. Then looking further we see inactivity and sluggishness, um that sounds like lazy to me! So let’s see what the Bible says about being lazy?… Proverbs 26:15 – “A sluggard buries his hand in the dish; he is too lazy to bring it back to his mouth.” Ouch, I would say that is lazy! So if a sluggard is the one who is lazy then what does the Bible say about a sluggard?…Proverbs 6:9 – “How long will you lie there, you sluggard? When will you get up from your sleep?” I’m thinking this is not a good thing! So then I looked up one more definition and this is what Merriam Webster says, “a property of matter by which it remains at rest or in uniform motion in the same straight line unless acted upon by some external force. ”

Hmm, so that got me to thinking a little more and this is what I decided about myself, I am remaining still at rest and not moving my body on a daily basis which will leave me unchanged and could turn me into a sluggard so I need an external force to get me moving. Well I certainly don’t want that because I’ve been there, done that before and that’s why I am not at a healthy weight today. So I went through a time of thinking about this situation and I kept telling myself that I needed to get back into my exercise routine. Every morning I would plan it in my head and then I would go to work and come home and realize I had done nothing. That went on for a while and in my head I had great intentions. I would plan it out well as to the time of my workout and what I would do and everything. But alas, nothing. Each day I would come home and be too tired to do anything after working all day. Well to add to my problem, my weight started creeping back up because in the midst of my non-activity I was also making some very unwise food decisions.

It finally occurred to me that when you get off of a routine it is hard to get back started the longer you are off that routine. They say it takes 21 days to form a habit and I’m convinced it only takes about 3 days to lose that habit. Well I needed to get back to my routine. I was reminded of what Proverbs 24:16 a says “for though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again.” I needed to rise again, I needed to get back up, I needed to find my motivation! Interestingly when I looked at the definition for motivation in the Merriam Webster Dictionary, it says “the act or process of motivating”, then the second definition says “a motivating force, stimulus, or influence”

Well that made sense to me especially in relation to the Merriam Webster definition of inertia, let’s read that definition one more time “a property of matter by which it remains at rest or in uniform motion in the same straight line unless acted upon by some external force. ” I needed motivation to be my external force but for days I was looking in the wrong place. I was thinking I could do it on my own. I was thinking that I just needed to get back up already! Well of course, I failed. I was depending on myself, my own efforts, my own motivation that was basically non existent at that point. I had used all the “stress” excuses and all the “I’ll start tomorrow, today, in an hour, next week, Monday, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera” (in the voice of Yul Brynner of course).

I had to go back to find my original motivation and here it is right here…1 Corinthians 6: 19, “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you,whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought with a price. Therefore honor God with your body.” That is my motivation, that gives me my “want to”! I think I had forgotten that simple verse in the midst of the inertia and excuses. Yes it’s hard to get back up when you fall down, but it doesn’t take long to get back into a routine. It just takes having motivation and “want to”. My motivation is to honor God with my body and that is exactly what I intend to do on a daily basis. I got back started just yesterday but now that I have confessed before God and man and made the decision to “GET BACK UP ALREADY” I think I will be okay. So is there anything hindering you today from getting back up and exercising and making healthy food choices? I encourage you to find your motivation in God’s Word and let Him be your external force to get you back up again.

Big Announcement!!

First and foremost I want to thank everyone who has followed me on this blog. I realize that I have not posted very consistently and I want to let you all know that as of today I am recommitting myself to this blog. I know that the goals I had when I first caught the vision of Losing4Christ are still my goals today. My mindset is different than it was 3 years ago when this blog began. I used to only see my failures, today I see my successes and learn from my failures. I hope to share more encouragement as I re-commit to this site. I want to help people as I go through this journey to health and wellness walking with Jesus Christ learning to live abundantly and be balanced in mind, body, soul and spirit.

So what is my Big Announcement? Thanks for asking. I have created a new blog to separate from the health and wellness journey and share my story. It’s really scary to me but I know that I need to share my story. It is a story of my past which was filled with living in the pit of destruction and miry clay but showcases the victory I now live out day by day as Jesus has set my feet on solid ground. I invite you to the launch of this new adventure.


Find me on Twitter at https://twitter.com/beyondmiryclay

Find me on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/pages/Beyond-The-Miry-Clay/138821282995244

Please consider sharing with your friends as a resource. I am hoping that my story and my desire to help others will bring the reality of one changed life as a result of hearing my journey.



Me A Barney?

This past Sunday my pastors talked about encouragement at church. My senior pastor titled his sermon “They Call Me Barney” and the funny part was he had us sing the I Love You song from Barney. I’m talking about Barney the purple dinosaur. At first I wasn’t appreciating his humor since I had heard so much Barney when my kids were growing up that I could not stand Barney. So after we sang the song I thought to myself well that was pretty cool. Then after the service I turned to a hug from a dear friend who whispered to me “Thanks for being my Barney”. Really, me?? I would see it the other way around to be honest, she is my Barney! Actually I realized that I have several Barney’s in my life. Precious friends who encourage me all the time. People that God uses to get my attention and propel me into the things that He desires for me. I started writing this blog on Sunday afternoon but never finished it and today I get a text saying “Thank you so much Barney”. I just smiled and knew that I needed to finish this blog post.

What people don’t know is that I have prayed for years for God to use me and make me usable for His Kingdom. I’ve longed to be the one that people can come to for encouragement and support. I love helping people, it helps me so much too. So many times I have allowed the enemy to come in like a flood and bring discouragement and depression into my life. I refuse to do that anymore because I can’t be an encouragement to anyone if I am discouraged and depressed. Jesus has brought so much joy and freedom into my life and when I can share that with someone else it just blesses me so much. It’s like a beautiful wave that washes over me to know someone is encouraged by something I have said or done. So now just a little while ago I had another friend blow me away and actually made me cry. She said “You help bring my faith to center stage just by being you”. I had to hang up the phone because I was weeping and praising God. Yes I am a “Barney”.

So I just realized that I never even explained what “Barney” is all about. Its about Barnabas from the book of Acts in the Bible. The first mention of Barnabas is in Acts chapter 4:

Acts 4:36-37

Now Joseph, a Levite of Cyprian birth, who was also called Barnabas by the apostles (which translated means Son of Encouragement), and who owned a tract of land, sold it and brought the money and laid it at the apostles’ feet.

So Barnabas was like a nickname for this Levite named Joseph. The apostles called him Barnabas in my opinion because they obviously saw him as a man who was very encouraging.  So as we move further into Acts in chapter 9 a man named Saul is persecuting the church and he is on his way to kill the Christians in Damascus. While he was his way the Lord Jesus Christ nails him and he is converted and is now preaching Christ. I think you should just open your Bible right now and read the story because its a pretty amazing story. I will wait for you.

Alright, now when we get to verse 26 we see Saul has arrived in Jerusalem and he wants to hang out and get to know the original disciples of Christ. They are all afraid because they know that this man Saul was killing the Christians and they don’t believe that he is converted. Barnabas took hold of Saul and brought him to the disciples to let them know Saul was for real and he is a disciple now who speaks boldly in the name of Jesus. Let’s read verses 26-27:

Acts 9:26-27

When he came to Jerusalem, he was trying to associate with the disciples; but they were all afraid of him, not believing that he was a disciple. But Barnabas took hold of him and brought him to the apostles and described to them how he had seen the Lord on the road, and that He had talked to him, and how at Damascus he had spoken out boldly in the name of Jesus.

See Barnabas was an encouragement and support to Saul in that moment. Those of you know your Bibles know that Saul became the Apostle Paul and wrote much of the New Testament and his mission trips with Barnabas are all through the book of Acts. But lets suppose for a moment that Barnabas wasn’t there to help bring Saul to the disciples. Who knows what could have happened! Saul could have been discouraged and walked away from preaching Christ. Praise God that didn’t happen or half the New Testament would have been very different.

I hope all of that makes sense to you and you get the idea of how Barnabas was an encourager. My pastor’s message was probably much better than my explanation here but I think I’ve pulled it together to make the point. So in thinking of Barney again and me being a Barney to others I really wanted to wear purple and sing the I love You song but I was thinking that might just cause you to stop reading my blogs so I am sharing the real Barney singing his song. If you hate Barney just listen anyway and imagine that I am singing to you with my arm around you. Be encouraged! We all need encouragement! Bless you all!

Three Years and Three Days Later

Three years and three days ago I started this blog with great intentions. I had seven things I desired to lose for Christ, let’s take a look at that list real quick…

  1. Weight
  2. Sin
  3. Bondage
  4. Damaged Emotions
  5. Lack of discipline
  6. Fear
  7. Control

My primary focus was on # 1. Weight and that’s where I failed even before I began. The most wonderful thing about it however is the lessons I learned over the past 3 years. I haven’t written a lot of entries at this point and pretty much I shared a few of my many trips back into the pit of failure and how I was determined to get back up and keep moving. The problem was I was so concerned with the aspect of my weight that I didn’t see what God’s plan was in the process. So I am publicly repenting and I am declaring today that I am going to re-visit the vision for real this time and just follow the Holy Spirit’s guidance in what area of my life needs to be worked on at any point in time.

I know that God is calling me back to re-visit the vision for healthy living and weight loss. I don’t know what it will look like but I can tell you right now that I refuse to allow myself to get caught up with the same detrimental patterns that I had in the past. So with that said I just ask that you would pray for me. I need it! I am ready to move forward and I pray that I will not turn back anymore from this day forward. I hope along this journey I will be able to encourage you as well. Come along with me as I surrender to God’s plan and vision for my 7 goals above. I’m going to take it one day, hour, moment at a time.

Who’s with me?


Baby Steps

There is nothing like watching a baby learn to walk. This past weekend the Lord taught me a lesson about myself from watching a baby walk. When a baby walks and falls down, he may or may not cry…he may crawl a few steps and then get back up or he may just laugh and get back up. Did you notice anything? That baby will GET BACK UP regardless of what happens at the time he falls. No matter how many times he falls, he gets back up. If he doesn’t feel confident right away, he crawls a little but then he gets right back up and walks again. No matter how wobbly, no matter if his daddy is there calling to him “Come on, come to daddy” No matter if he just sees something ahead that catches his eye he will go for it. He is not going to just sit there and cry and never stop trying to walk.

I know what you’re thinking….DUH!

YUP, it’s a DUH! I’m thinking that’s part of my problem, my mind always wants to complicate things. You would think that a person like myself, who has been called the Queen of Efficiency because I can analyze a problem and figure out pretty quickly how to fix it or change a process to complete the work more efficiently, that I would be able to do that in my own personal life. You would think that but NOPE, not me. Not Zenice. Oh no, I have to make a mountain out of a molehill and only see the red X’s of failure and defeat and not the gold stars of progress. I have to complicate things, have my pity parties and just plain give up. Or at least, that’s how I used to operate.

As I have previously written 2011 was a good year for me in terms of losing weight but then 2012 was not so good. For the majority of 2012 I was tormented in my mind about why I couldn’t get back on track with my goals. I prayed and asked the Lord to show me where I went wrong and I asked Him to help me get back on track. I would have days where I would catch a wave of motivation and then a few days later the wave was over. I can’t tell you how many false starts I had in 2012 trying not to gain the weight back. It all failed and the bottom line was that I gained my weight back little by little and now I am almost back to where I was at the beginning of 2011. But the good news is that I am 15 lbs lighter than I was in 2011 when I started our weight-loss challenge at work called “Break Your Boundaries”. Today was our weigh-in day for the 2013 Break Your Boundaries challenge and when I compared my stats it dawned on me how silly I can be. I only need to lose 17.5 lbs to be where I was at the end of the 2011 challenge. I think I am in a good position to get back to that point and then take it further. I am actually pretty confident that I will take it further because not one of my actual goals has a number on it. If I lose 15 or 100 lbs this year I intend to be thankful and grateful for any progress. I just really want to be healthy so I can do the work the Lord is calling me to do.

The Lord really showed me where I went wrong back in 2011 with the whole baby walking analogy. He showed me that where I was looking at the scale and looking at the number 100 (which is how many pounds I wanted to lose) I failed to keep my eyes on Jesus. I kept saying that I was looking to Him but I kept on looking away.  Instead of allowing the Holy Spirit to guide me in my food choices consistently I would get overconfident and stop following His lead and just run on by myself. If I failed (and I failed a lot) I didn’t dust myself off and get back up. No, it took a while and yet He would call to me saying “come on, you can do it” but I didn’t move. I stayed stuck in my misery. Unlike the baby who doesn’t know that it is his goal to walk because it’s just a natural instinctive thing for him to want to get up and move like everyone else, I thought that if I kept my focus on the goal that I would reach the goal. What I have come to realize is that I need to make a goal and then pray about my goal and then keep my eyes on Jesus and He will help me reach the goal.

So I’m taking on a new mindset this year and I have my goals written. I have my action steps planned. I’m praying for my goals daily.  I’m asking the Holy Spirit to help me with my food choices.  I’m keeping my eyes on Jesus at all times.  If I fall, I will maybe cry a little, laugh a little or crawl a little but just like the baby I WILL GET BACK UP!