Progress

You ever wake up and realize that you have been doing things all wrong? It occurred to me in recent weeks that I was just focusing way too much on the wrong things. I’ve focused so much on my failures that I never really saw the successes and so I dismissed the successes and then of course I would splat. Yes splat – fall on my face and not get up. I’ve seen this pattern in my journey to health and wellness for the past 7 years. I really paid attention to it this year as I really took a hard look at myself and why I was not able to be consistent in healthy eating and exercise. Well I think I figured out the problem, I had too much healing that needed to be done on the inside before the outside of me would come into alignment. Deep inside I was afraid to lose the weight because then I would be more noticeable. I mean come on let’s face it, people are more apt to notice your weight loss efforts and say “Hey you are looking great” then when you are gaining weight. Nobody says “Hey you are looking fat today”, well at least not adults that care about you. Children on the other hand can be cruel but I digress.

Early this year I had this knowing in my gut that said this year will be a year when I get my healthy lifestyle back on track. I just knew that it was close and I could feel it. I knew that I had come to a place where significant healing was was evident in my life emotionally and spiritually and I was ready to see that spill over into the physical. So in the middle of great circumstantial stress I tried to get the ball rolling. It didn’t work. I had a lot of false starts but no significant wins. By June I was disgusted with myself and started on a downward spiral of guilt and shame. I went through a short time of depression and just a time of pressing in to God to see where He would take me next. Well He got my attention and come July I started back on the journey to getting my life in order. I started with getting my relationship with Jesus to a higher level, started working on things that I knew the Lord was calling me to do.

I started out by walking to work one day and it took me 12 minutes. I had stopped 4 times and I was so out of breath that I thought I would die and I couldn’t speak when I did get to work. It was miserable. My brother told me to do it again. So I did. I kept doing it until now I can walk to work in 8 min 13 seconds and not stop or be out of breath. That turnaround in me was in July and since then I have been taking it one day at a time. Sometimes one hour at a time. I have accountability and measurable goals every week. Some weeks are better than others but each week I celebrate my victories. Even if it’s just one victory in the whole week. My thinking is different now and that makes a huge difference. It doesn’t matter how fast or how slow I go anymore, it’s just that I keep moving forward and don’t look back.

No matter what!

That my friends is progress!

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I Died Last Night!

It was bound to happen, It was time afterall. So after two days of vegging out on the couch watching 4 seasons of Burn Notice and ordering food from the local pizza place three times I finally hit the bottom of the pit that I was dwelling in for a few months now and there was nothing more that I could do but die. Praise God I made the decision to die to my flesh and start letting the Lord get through to my thick little skull. All day long for both days I saw glimpses of God speaking to my heart and I couldn’t take you back to those things that I read because they came from several directions but the signs were clear to me that it was time to get up and out of the pit, not on my own but by putting my hand in the Lord’s hand and allowing Him to help me climb out. I’ve been frequenting the pit that I had once deserted and I think I was starting to get comfortable there again. Oh I tried to get out. I stepped out a few times and thought I was okay. I tried to motivate myself to do the things that I knew the Lord wanted me to do. He called me to lose weight, lose sin, lose bondage, etc. I was running a good race and somehow something cut in on me and threw me for a loop and there I was back in that pit. I didn’t want to be there but I found that I just couldn’t get out. I let the smallest things get in the way of my walk with Jesus. I walked right back into sin.

But last night I was granted true repentance from God. I know it was true repentance because I’ve repented so many times over the past couple months and yet I still sat in the pit shackled to the chains that bound me to the sin of gluttony. I was convinced in my head that I was trying to get control of it but I was in total darkness and could not even see my hand in front of me. I was blind and separated from God because of my sin.

I am amazed continually at how much Love that Jesus has for me. I being the fleshly selfish human that I am would have given up on me a long time ago. But not Jesus, He continues to pursue me even when I am in rebellion. WHY? Why would He continue to pursue me when I continue to fail Him over and over and over? He died on that cross over two thousand years ago to save me not because I was worthy but because He loved me. And the Word of God says He will never leave me nor forsake me and so therefore He continues to pursue me and waits for me to turn from the sins that bind me in darkness and look at Him and let the Light of His Love permeate me to the core. I can relate to why Adam and Eve hid in the garden when they sinned. I know why now, they were separated from God because of their sin and they no longer knew how He would respond. Their sin blinded them and put them in darkness so they no longer had a connection to God. I lost my connection to God because I was choosing food over Jesus. Ugh! Just writing that pains my heart but it is the truth. I know you might be thinking that I am being hard on myself and I hope that is not what you are thinking because the bottom line is that sin is sin.  I didn’t make the rules. I didn’t write the Bible. God did, He set the standard and we can try to minimize it based on our cultural ideas or upbringing but it won’t hold up to the Word of God. I have to be honest with myself and examine my own heart and allow the Holy Spirit to really examine my heart and show it to me. I cannot do anything without Him. I have to get right with God when my life is not lining up with what He has set forth for me. I have the choice. Every day, every hour, every moment. I have the choice to choose to live in obedience to God or live in sin. There’s no middle ground. So as I came to the place of true repentance I received the refreshing that is promised in the Word. (Acts 3:19)

I woke up today with a new perspective, I woke up with a clear vision. I’ve been resurrected (if you will).  The Word says we are to crucify our flesh, well guess what I died last night and I am so glad I did because I feel so much better now. I am connected with my savior once again. I have taken my place once again as the princess of the King. I refuse to listen any more to the lies of the enemy that condemn me and keep me in the pit of darkness and despair. I am free because Christ has set me free. I will move forward and allow the Holy Spirit to challenge me and search me every day and show me my heart so that each day I live to honor Jesus Christ with my life and give glory to God. I know this time will be different, I feel it and I am determined to walk this out and not let anything else get in the way. Today I re-commit to offering my body as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God by choosing to eat the way He wants me to eat and not allow the sin of gluttony to control me. For every temptation has a way out, I just have to keep my eyes open and choose to take the way out every day, every hour, every moment for the rest of my days. Praise God I have a choice, as long as there is breath of life in my nostrils I have the opportunity to honor God with my body, my mind, my whole life. This is my choice. This is my commitment. Thank you Jesus!

Galatians 5:24 ~ Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

Romans 6:11 Even so consider yourselves to be dead to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus.

Colossians 3:3 For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 ~ Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

Remember who you are

“Remember who you are”

These were the words that stuck with me from the Made to Crave session from Lysa TerKeurst that I was watching today. I think I forgot for a few days who I am. I am God’s child, I am God’s temple, I am God’s co-worker, I am God’s workmanship, I am complete in Christ. I forgot who I was for a few days and allowed myself to indulge my flesh with food and more food. I felt miserable but instead of reaching for the food that Jesus talked about to the Samaritan woman in John chapter 4 I indulged my flesh. John 4:32 says “But he said to them, “I have food to eat that you know nothing about.” and John 4:34 “My food,” said Jesus, “is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work.”

I am so amazed at my Lord and Savior because right after I was remembering these verses I turned back on the Made to Crave session and guess what she started talking about? You got it she started talking about the story of the Samaritan woman. I was floored. I was just amazed and then she took it a step further and gave us this verse: “Romans 14:20 Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food.”

Well while I was upstairs walking on the treadmill before I started writing this I repented for walking back into indulging my flesh with food instead of seeking and craving Him. I am also reminded of the Word the Lord gave me back about 6 months ago. He gave me this:
Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” I had apparently forgotten that one too because the last few days I was very discouraged and that is what drove me to eat so much. Not making excuses here but just being real, I used my discouragement to give me license to indulge my flesh. Boy if that isn’t sad but it’s what we do. I know I am not the only person with this struggle. I know I am not the only one who has this problem, no but the solution is always right there. We just have to choose to do the right thing and not let our flesh take over. This is why we are called to crucify the flesh daily.

God is so good!

Choices

In thinking about how we all need to make changes that will lead us in the direction of better health and fitness, I realized that I have finally proven to myself that I can persevere. I may slip up at times and choose something that is not healthy to eat but I always have the opportunity to make the next choice count. This past week there was a guest at our department meeting at work that was talking about internal stressors and she made an example about a woman who is on a diet that eats a big piece of cake and then thinks to herself  “Oh no, I messed up so I’ll start again next Monday” and it’s Tuesday. Then she added that the person should say “I’ll start again tomorrow.”  Well my first thought was why wait until tomorrow. I think if we mess up or feel like we’ve messed up why not make the next choice count or the next meal count. Why not take an extra walk today to counter that  big piece of cake? It’s all about choices, either we choose to move toward better health or not. I was really proud of myself for thinking that so quickly and it just proves to me that I really do have a new mindset. Praise God! It is only because of Him that I am where I am today. What healthy choice do you need to make today to set you in the direction of better health?

Welcome!

Thanks for stopping by. This is the first of many posts that I intend to write about my journey with Jesus Christ in learning to live abundantly and be balanced in mind, body, soul and spirit. I chose the name Losing4Christ because that’s exactly what I desire to do. I desire to lose a lot of things for my Savior and say as Paul did in Philippians 3:7-9 ~ “But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ  and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith.”

So just to give an example of some of the things I intend to lose on this journey, I’ve created a short list below:

  1. Weight
  2. Sin
  3. Bondage
  4. Damaged Emotions
  5. Lack of discipline
  6. Fear
  7. Control

We’ll talk more about this list later on.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 ~ Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.