Jumping out of my skin 

This is an old blog that I wrote 7 years ago that I found and read this morning. I share because as I read this I find I’m feeling the same way today. I don’t think I can re-write this any better than it already is. That’s my opinion of course, so I’ll let you decide for yourself.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Jumping out of my skin!

Current mood:  hyper

Category: Religion and Philosophy

Do you remember your first love? Do you remember how you felt? Remember how you couldn’t eat, couldn’t think straight, couldn’t do anything but focus on that one person who made your heart throb, your stomach flutter and your cheeks hurt from smiling so much? Remember how you felt like you would jump out of your skin because of the intense desire to be with your love? How you couldn’t wait to be in his/her presence? You couldn’t wait to hear his/her voice…You could talk for hours or sit in silence for hours but you couldn’t stand being away from him/her. Do you remember?

That is exactly how I feel today.

No, I don’t have a new boyfriend or even an old boyfriend at that. So what is making me jump out of my skin and bubble over with joy today? Thanks for asking.

It’s Jesus Christ!

The past couple of days have been amazing. Yesterday I was sort of stuck at home and I spent the day just reading and listening to the Bible, I prayed and praised and just worshiped for the majority of the day. It was awesome! I’ve arrived at such a new level of intimacy with the Lord that I just want to scream and shout and jump out of my skin and tell everyone about it.

Now this is not something entirely new for me, I do these things regularly. I pray daily and I read the Word and study it and listen to it, I sing and praise all day either in my head or out loud. You can ask some of my co-workers and they’ll tell you because they have caught me singing out loud a time or two. I should probably apologize to them because I don’t sing all that great. But I digress.

So today I was thinking about how absolutely excited I was and how I just feel this fresh fire in my spirit and how I just want to tell everyone!! I know, this is not a surprise to many of you reading this right now. Many of you know what I am talking about. You understand the reality of a real 24/7 relationship with our Savior and Lord Jesus Christ and you are probably rejoicing with me right now. Praise the Lord!
But can I confess here that I used to only have “head knowledge” about what a real relationship with Jesus Christ was all about. You see I was looking for the microwave miracle deliverance that would sweep me away into a blissful life of blue skies, green grass and no problems. Hello…was I thinking of a Julie Andrews movie or something?

So I once had this idea in my head that if I just went to this revival meeting…or read that book…or sing the right christian song…or recite someone else’s beautifully written prayer that I found on a website or in a book I was reading…that I would find the right formula to the blessed life. Yes, I was sure that there was a formula to follow to get my instant microwave miracle. I mean look at all the TV evangelists who tell you how you can send in your love offering and they will send you a miracle handkerchief that they have prayed over and once you receive it you will be healed and your life will be blessed. Oh and if you send in a hundred dollars to that ministry you are sure to get a miracle financial blessing because God will honor your gift and open the floodgates of heaven to pour out a blessing that you will not have enough room for it…I pause here to confess that I sent in my hundred dollars about 22 years ago and I’m still waiting for the miracle blessing.

Well I know today that the miracle blessing is not coming, not in that form anyway. Not because of a TV evangelist or because of a formula prayer or because of anything that has absolutely nothing to do with a real 24/7 intimate relationship with Jesus Christ. You see I was looking for a Savior who would take away all my problems but as I look over m y life I see that I had a Savior that walked with me, carried me and loved me through all my problems even when I didn’t know He was there. Even when I thought that He was far from my life and yet He was right there.

You know, this is my second writing of this blog…the first version disappeared when I hit the back button on this page instead of another page I had up with BibleGateway.com. I guess that version was the one my kids needed to hear because I read it to them and asked them how it sounded. I think it was much funnier too but this version is a little more personal. And the funny thing is that even if I am just writing this for myself and no one else reads it, I’m okay with that because one day I will read it when I am hit with a situation and I need to be reminded of today then it will be good. On the other hand, if one person reads it and God is glorified because of their response then it will be worth it.

Now, getting back to my former idea that being a Christian would mean that I could have a life with no problems, well I want to show you what the Word says…

James 1:2-4 says “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

Hmm…Does that sound like a life with no problems? Let’s see what Jesus says…

“Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law – a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.” Matthew 10:34-36

No, there’s no blissful life without problems there either…

Now this is a passage of scripture that is one of my favorites and has probably kept me sane through many a trial in my life…

“Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.” 1 Peter 5:8-9

But now I want to show you the scripture that describes where I am today…

1 Peter 1:3-9 “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth more than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.”

Oh friends, did you read that? Read it again. This is the reason for my joy, this is the reason I am jumping out of my skin today. Do I still have problems? Most definitely, as a matter of fact, my problems have problems! But I have joy inexpressible! And it’s only because I have spent time with Jesus.

I wish I had grasped this long ago. I remember being at a point in my life where I thought nothing would ever turn around for me, I was desperate, alone, depressed, fearful and questioning my very existence. I told my Pastor at that time how I was feeling and the circumstances in my life that were making me feel that way and I’ll never forget his response. He said “all you need is Jesus”. He was right, he knew the answer but I was appalled and actually left his church because I felt that was not the answer. I just didn’t grasp it. I wanted an instant microwave miracle to stop all the pain in my life and make everything better. I was so immature then.

I thank God today that He has allowed me to grow so much over the past 4 years. Each time I think I have arrived at a place where I can’t possibly learn any more, I get blown away by the Lord. The more I read the Word, the more I pray, the more I sing, praise and worship, the more I share with others, the more I sit and just spend time with Jesus the more I learn, the more I am healed, the more I am delivered, the more I am maturing and exceedingly joyful. I can’t wait to see what’s next. I can hardly stand where I am at today so I know that tomorrow is going to be so much more glorious and each day that I yield myself to the Lordship of Jesus Christ and obey His Word I am blessed and transformed.

Jesus said…
“If you love me, you will obey what I command.” John 14:15

“Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him.” John 14:21

“If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.” John 14:23

“If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father’s commands and remain in his love.” John 15:10

I love Jesus and I obey His Word. Do I still fail? Sure I do and I still fall into sin but not for long anymore because I know what the Word says…”If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive u s our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9

Do you know Jesus? I pray that you do. Do you have a real 24/7 realationship with Jesus? If not, why not start today? It’s time to repent and get right with God. It’s time to read the Word and believe what it says and live it out daily. It’s time to make sacrifices. My Pastor asked a couple questions back in January that was the beginning of a powerful weekend of deliverance for me. He said “How much of God do you want?” and “How much of you are you willing to give God?” I want more and the more I seek God, the more He reveals, revives and restores me. I will never be the same again. Hallelujah!!

How much of God do you want?

How much of you are you willing to give God?

2016 update:

Over the past 7 years I have seen more healing in my life than ever before but my prayer life, I’m embarrassed to admit, turned dry and almost nonexistent through many seasons. But today I’m living in the fullness of how I felt on this Monday back in 2009. I pray that I will stay in this place as a lifestyle not just a season. I realize we can’t always be on top of the mountain as the walk is usually through the plains and there will always be valleys but we can go through each of these with joy. Thank You Jesus!


(Day 28) Being Intentional Today

Today I was intentional about starting my day with the Word of God. Today I was intentional about meeting my step goal and actually beat my goal with 6016 steps. Today I was intentional about prayerfully writing out my schedule. Today I was intentional about eating healthy. The theme that kept running through everything that I was doing today was the word TODAY. I realized that this has been the ongoing theme for the past few days and the Lord absolutely brought it to full revelation today! We are only promised today. Do you understand what this means? I thought I did too but I see this in a new light today. There’s that word again!

Let’s take a look at a few passages of scripture and then I will explain what I believe the Lord has been saying to me.

Deuteronomy 30: 15-16 NKJV  “See, I have set before you today life and good, death and evil, in that I command you today to love the Lord your God, to walk in His ways, and to keep His commandments, His statutes, and His judgments, that you may live and multiply; and the Lord your God will bless you in the land which you go to possess.”

James 4:13-14 NKJV  “Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit”; whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.”

Hebrews 3:12-15 NKJV “Beware, brethren, lest there be in any of you an evil heart of unbelief in departing from the living God; but exhort one another daily, while it is called “Today,” lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin. For we have become partakers of Christ if we hold the beginning of our confidence steadfast to the end, while it is said:“Today, if you will hear His voice, Do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion.”

Today the Lord sets before us the opportunity to choose life and good or death and evil. Today we need to focus on what we are doing in this moment. While planning for the future is good, we never know if we will see tomorrow so we have to make the best of what we have right in front of us and that is today. We are told to exhort one another daily, while it is called “Today” so we will not have our hearts hardened by sin.

You may be thinking to yourself, “what does this have to do with exercise or losing weight?” Everything. It’s bringing the physical and the spiritual together and finding a balance. My desire has been and always will be to honor God with my body. That means while I weigh 372 pounds and when I weigh 172 pounds, my desire will not change. The journey is a long process but the truth is we only have today. I can’t worry about what’s happening tomorrow because I may never even see it. I have to take care of my body today and keep my eyes open to the world around me. I have to be ready to really see the lost and dying around me. Today I must be intentional to care for myself and others. Today I must be intentional to be found in the place of prayer for those who need to know Jesus.

In addition to working on honoring God with my body, I have been reading about revivals and awakenings. My heart is stirred to see the church wake up from its slumber and stop glancing at Jesus and begin to gaze upon Jesus. We have been hearing so much about judgment coming to our nation but I say we must stand in the gap for our nation. I have one more scripture today to share and I hope that it stirs you as much as it has stirred me.

Ezekiel 22:30  “So I sought for a man among them who would make a wall, and stand in the gap before Me on behalf of the land, that I should not destroy it; but I found no one.”

I want to be found as one who will stand in the gap for my city, my county, my state, my nation and the rest of the world. I want to be one who weeps and mourns over the darkness that is getting darker in our generation. I believe as the darkness continues to grow darker the Light of Jesus Christ is going to shine brighter than ever before.

I don’t know what you believe or don’t believe but I know God is real, I know Jesus is the only way to the Father and I know that the Holy Spirit has been given to us as a gift.

John 14:6 NKJV  “Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.”

Acts 2:38 NKJV  “Then Peter said to them, “Repent, and let every one of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.”

Today is all you have. Today is a great day to be saved.

John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.”

2 Corinthians 6:1-2 NKJV  “We then, as workers together with Him also plead with you not to receive the grace of God in vain. For He says: “In an acceptable time I have heard you, And in the day of salvation I have helped you.” Behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation.”

Today I have been intentional to share with you my heart. Please let me know if you need prayer or want to know more about having a true relationship with Jesus Christ. Thank you so much for stopping by.