My small victories that I wrote about stirred a conversation with a friend about how do I celebrate these victories. I had no idea how to celebrate. My thoughts of a celebration revolve around food. When my friend asked me how I was going to celebrate my response was “well it won’t be with desserts because I am not eating sweets for 31 days”. The reality that my view of celebration was only about food really caused me to think. I don’t know how to celebrate with anything other than food. When someone gets a promotion or graduates, we go out to eat. It’s what I know. The only other thing I could think of was sending a card but I am not going to send myself a card. That would just be weird.
I asked for feedback on how to celebrate in the group I am involved in on Facebook and got some great ideas that I had not considered. Buy a shirt, take a bubble bath, give yourself permission to take a nap were among the suggestions I received. As I think back to the times when I have been on this journey before I see where I did not really celebrate my victories. I mainly focused on my failures. I was a completely black or white thinker and I was either succeeding or failing, there was no in between, there was no room for the middle ground of learning opportunities. This revelation became an unexpected motivation for me.
When I think back to the time when I lost the most weight within one year I do remember getting my hair cut and colored which was a celebration of my success. However, when I veered off my path I hit a wall and would beat myself up for days on end before ever getting back up and moving forward. It was a major hindrance to my journey. When I got to the end of that year and only lost 86 pounds instead of 100 pounds I didn’t see the 86 pounds as a success but a failure. I know, it was stinking thinking. After that time of what I viewed as defeat I gave up for a long time. I had a few attempts at getting back on track but I could not give myself grace to move forward. I felt that I had let down God. I was on a journey with Jesus, that was and is my purpose for writing this blog.
I’m so thankful that my thinking is shifting and I am allowing myself grace to keep walking even when I don’t meet every goal. I re-evaluate, I change or modify my goals when I find that I am attempting to do too much at once. I listen to my accountability partner when she gives me feedback if I begin to go on a downward trail. I allow myself to learn along the way and I am not rushing into anything. It’s not about losing weight anymore. It’s about being healthy and honoring God with my body. It took years to get to the place I am today with my weight and it may take years to get to a healthy weight. In the meantime I need to truly learn how to celebrate the victories that I am seeing in my life.
Today I have a boost of motivation that I did not anticipate and it’s wonderful. It’s allowing me to grow. I have a new-found confidence that I haven’t experienced before. I am really making changes to my life and each step of the way I am inviting the Holy Spirit to teach me and guide me. I am excited for the things to come. I am motivated to continue this journey and learn to celebrate my small victories with more than just a blog post. What a blessing! Thank You Jesus!
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