There is nothing like watching a baby learn to walk. This past weekend the Lord taught me a lesson about myself from watching a baby walk. When a baby walks and falls down, he may or may not cry…he may crawl a few steps and then get back up or he may just laugh and get back up. Did you notice anything? That baby will GET BACK UP regardless of what happens at the time he falls. No matter how many times he falls, he gets back up. If he doesn’t feel confident right away, he crawls a little but then he gets right back up and walks again. No matter how wobbly, no matter if his daddy is there calling to him “Come on, come to daddy” No matter if he just sees something ahead that catches his eye he will go for it. He is not going to just sit there and cry and never stop trying to walk.
I know what you’re thinking….DUH!
YUP, it’s a DUH! I’m thinking that’s part of my problem, my mind always wants to complicate things. You would think that a person like myself, who has been called the Queen of Efficiency because I can analyze a problem and figure out pretty quickly how to fix it or change a process to complete the work more efficiently, that I would be able to do that in my own personal life. You would think that but NOPE, not me. Not Zenice. Oh no, I have to make a mountain out of a molehill and only see the red X’s of failure and defeat and not the gold stars of progress. I have to complicate things, have my pity parties and just plain give up. Or at least, that’s how I used to operate.
As I have previously written 2011 was a good year for me in terms of losing weight but then 2012 was not so good. For the majority of 2012 I was tormented in my mind about why I couldn’t get back on track with my goals. I prayed and asked the Lord to show me where I went wrong and I asked Him to help me get back on track. I would have days where I would catch a wave of motivation and then a few days later the wave was over. I can’t tell you how many false starts I had in 2012 trying not to gain the weight back. It all failed and the bottom line was that I gained my weight back little by little and now I am almost back to where I was at the beginning of 2011. But the good news is that I am 15 lbs lighter than I was in 2011 when I started our weight-loss challenge at work called “Break Your Boundaries”. Today was our weigh-in day for the 2013 Break Your Boundaries challenge and when I compared my stats it dawned on me how silly I can be. I only need to lose 17.5 lbs to be where I was at the end of the 2011 challenge. I think I am in a good position to get back to that point and then take it further. I am actually pretty confident that I will take it further because not one of my actual goals has a number on it. If I lose 15 or 100 lbs this year I intend to be thankful and grateful for any progress. I just really want to be healthy so I can do the work the Lord is calling me to do.
The Lord really showed me where I went wrong back in 2011 with the whole baby walking analogy. He showed me that where I was looking at the scale and looking at the number 100 (which is how many pounds I wanted to lose) I failed to keep my eyes on Jesus. I kept saying that I was looking to Him but I kept on looking away. Instead of allowing the Holy Spirit to guide me in my food choices consistently I would get overconfident and stop following His lead and just run on by myself. If I failed (and I failed a lot) I didn’t dust myself off and get back up. No, it took a while and yet He would call to me saying “come on, you can do it” but I didn’t move. I stayed stuck in my misery. Unlike the baby who doesn’t know that it is his goal to walk because it’s just a natural instinctive thing for him to want to get up and move like everyone else, I thought that if I kept my focus on the goal that I would reach the goal. What I have come to realize is that I need to make a goal and then pray about my goal and then keep my eyes on Jesus and He will help me reach the goal.
So I’m taking on a new mindset this year and I have my goals written. I have my action steps planned. I’m praying for my goals daily. I’m asking the Holy Spirit to help me with my food choices. I’m keeping my eyes on Jesus at all times. If I fall, I will maybe cry a little, laugh a little or crawl a little but just like the baby I WILL GET BACK UP!