Jumping out of my skin 

This is an old blog that I wrote 7 years ago that I found and read this morning. I share because as I read this I find I’m feeling the same way today. I don’t think I can re-write this any better than it already is. That’s my opinion of course, so I’ll let you decide for yourself.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Jumping out of my skin!

Current mood:  hyper

Category: Religion and Philosophy

Do you remember your first love? Do you remember how you felt? Remember how you couldn’t eat, couldn’t think straight, couldn’t do anything but focus on that one person who made your heart throb, your stomach flutter and your cheeks hurt from smiling so much? Remember how you felt like you would jump out of your skin because of the intense desire to be with your love? How you couldn’t wait to be in his/her presence? You couldn’t wait to hear his/her voice…You could talk for hours or sit in silence for hours but you couldn’t stand being away from him/her. Do you remember?

That is exactly how I feel today.

No, I don’t have a new boyfriend or even an old boyfriend at that. So what is making me jump out of my skin and bubble over with joy today? Thanks for asking.

It’s Jesus Christ!

The past couple of days have been amazing. Yesterday I was sort of stuck at home and I spent the day just reading and listening to the Bible, I prayed and praised and just worshiped for the majority of the day. It was awesome! I’ve arrived at such a new level of intimacy with the Lord that I just want to scream and shout and jump out of my skin and tell everyone about it.

Now this is not something entirely new for me, I do these things regularly. I pray daily and I read the Word and study it and listen to it, I sing and praise all day either in my head or out loud. You can ask some of my co-workers and they’ll tell you because they have caught me singing out loud a time or two. I should probably apologize to them because I don’t sing all that great. But I digress.

So today I was thinking about how absolutely excited I was and how I just feel this fresh fire in my spirit and how I just want to tell everyone!! I know, this is not a surprise to many of you reading this right now. Many of you know what I am talking about. You understand the reality of a real 24/7 relationship with our Savior and Lord Jesus Christ and you are probably rejoicing with me right now. Praise the Lord!
But can I confess here that I used to only have “head knowledge” about what a real relationship with Jesus Christ was all about. You see I was looking for the microwave miracle deliverance that would sweep me away into a blissful life of blue skies, green grass and no problems. Hello…was I thinking of a Julie Andrews movie or something?

So I once had this idea in my head that if I just went to this revival meeting…or read that book…or sing the right christian song…or recite someone else’s beautifully written prayer that I found on a website or in a book I was reading…that I would find the right formula to the blessed life. Yes, I was sure that there was a formula to follow to get my instant microwave miracle. I mean look at all the TV evangelists who tell you how you can send in your love offering and they will send you a miracle handkerchief that they have prayed over and once you receive it you will be healed and your life will be blessed. Oh and if you send in a hundred dollars to that ministry you are sure to get a miracle financial blessing because God will honor your gift and open the floodgates of heaven to pour out a blessing that you will not have enough room for it…I pause here to confess that I sent in my hundred dollars about 22 years ago and I’m still waiting for the miracle blessing.

Well I know today that the miracle blessing is not coming, not in that form anyway. Not because of a TV evangelist or because of a formula prayer or because of anything that has absolutely nothing to do with a real 24/7 intimate relationship with Jesus Christ. You see I was looking for a Savior who would take away all my problems but as I look over m y life I see that I had a Savior that walked with me, carried me and loved me through all my problems even when I didn’t know He was there. Even when I thought that He was far from my life and yet He was right there.

You know, this is my second writing of this blog…the first version disappeared when I hit the back button on this page instead of another page I had up with BibleGateway.com. I guess that version was the one my kids needed to hear because I read it to them and asked them how it sounded. I think it was much funnier too but this version is a little more personal. And the funny thing is that even if I am just writing this for myself and no one else reads it, I’m okay with that because one day I will read it when I am hit with a situation and I need to be reminded of today then it will be good. On the other hand, if one person reads it and God is glorified because of their response then it will be worth it.

Now, getting back to my former idea that being a Christian would mean that I could have a life with no problems, well I want to show you what the Word says…

James 1:2-4 says “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

Hmm…Does that sound like a life with no problems? Let’s see what Jesus says…

“Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law – a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.” Matthew 10:34-36

No, there’s no blissful life without problems there either…

Now this is a passage of scripture that is one of my favorites and has probably kept me sane through many a trial in my life…

“Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.” 1 Peter 5:8-9

But now I want to show you the scripture that describes where I am today…

1 Peter 1:3-9 “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth more than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.”

Oh friends, did you read that? Read it again. This is the reason for my joy, this is the reason I am jumping out of my skin today. Do I still have problems? Most definitely, as a matter of fact, my problems have problems! But I have joy inexpressible! And it’s only because I have spent time with Jesus.

I wish I had grasped this long ago. I remember being at a point in my life where I thought nothing would ever turn around for me, I was desperate, alone, depressed, fearful and questioning my very existence. I told my Pastor at that time how I was feeling and the circumstances in my life that were making me feel that way and I’ll never forget his response. He said “all you need is Jesus”. He was right, he knew the answer but I was appalled and actually left his church because I felt that was not the answer. I just didn’t grasp it. I wanted an instant microwave miracle to stop all the pain in my life and make everything better. I was so immature then.

I thank God today that He has allowed me to grow so much over the past 4 years. Each time I think I have arrived at a place where I can’t possibly learn any more, I get blown away by the Lord. The more I read the Word, the more I pray, the more I sing, praise and worship, the more I share with others, the more I sit and just spend time with Jesus the more I learn, the more I am healed, the more I am delivered, the more I am maturing and exceedingly joyful. I can’t wait to see what’s next. I can hardly stand where I am at today so I know that tomorrow is going to be so much more glorious and each day that I yield myself to the Lordship of Jesus Christ and obey His Word I am blessed and transformed.

Jesus said…
“If you love me, you will obey what I command.” John 14:15

“Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him.” John 14:21

“If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.” John 14:23

“If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father’s commands and remain in his love.” John 15:10

I love Jesus and I obey His Word. Do I still fail? Sure I do and I still fall into sin but not for long anymore because I know what the Word says…”If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive u s our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9

Do you know Jesus? I pray that you do. Do you have a real 24/7 realationship with Jesus? If not, why not start today? It’s time to repent and get right with God. It’s time to read the Word and believe what it says and live it out daily. It’s time to make sacrifices. My Pastor asked a couple questions back in January that was the beginning of a powerful weekend of deliverance for me. He said “How much of God do you want?” and “How much of you are you willing to give God?” I want more and the more I seek God, the more He reveals, revives and restores me. I will never be the same again. Hallelujah!!

How much of God do you want?

How much of you are you willing to give God?

2016 update:

Over the past 7 years I have seen more healing in my life than ever before but my prayer life, I’m embarrassed to admit, turned dry and almost nonexistent through many seasons. But today I’m living in the fullness of how I felt on this Monday back in 2009. I pray that I will stay in this place as a lifestyle not just a season. I realize we can’t always be on top of the mountain as the walk is usually through the plains and there will always be valleys but we can go through each of these with joy. Thank You Jesus!

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(Day 23) Simply Being Thankful

rose-186452_640I have been away for a week as I needed to step away from the distractions of the online world. I have been so tired and just barely able to keep up with my necessary daily functions. I found out today that my vitamin D level is very low so that’s why I have been so fatigued.

I am so thankful to have an answer!

I was also pleased to learn that my A1C is the lowest it has been since I was diagnosed with diabetes. In March it was 9.4 and now it is 6.6. I know it will get much better when I am able to get back on my health journey again. My food and water intake has been good but I need exercise in my life again.

It will happen! I am confident because I am inspired by my progress. Now I just pray Lord heal me by raising my vitamin D levels so I can stop taking naps every few hours. In Jesus Name, Amen!

 

(Day 16) Thankful for Challenges

Well today I decided to take a challenge from a Pastor that I follow on Periscope. On Saturday he challenged his followers to get a Word from the Lord and do a Periscope Broadcast. For those of you who don’t know, Periscope is an app where you can do live broadcasts and people can watch live and type in a chat box to talk to you and tap on their screens to give you hearts which is like clicking the like button on Facebook. The hearts actually help your visibility and they are accumulated and then the more hearts you have the higher your profile is in the ranking.

IMG_2023Anyway, I was going to do the broadcast yesterday but I didn’t get to it. So today at 5:51pm I get a notification from my Bible app on my phone after I got the verse of the day notification. In my mind, this was God’s way of giving me a Word for the Periscope. I read the verses Jude 1:20-21 and jotted down some notes and thought out what I was going to say. I prepared myself by putting the picture you see to left of my notification on my computer so I could show it in the broadcast and then I could not get the broadcast to work. I had to open and close the app a few times and finally it gave me the option to start a broadcast. I named it (Pastor’s Name) Challenge Accepted. Stepping out of my comfort zone.

Would you believe, that Pastor was the only person who clicked into my broadcast!! I froze up, forgot everything I was going to say and laughed while saying hi to the Pastor. I continued to talk to about 5 minutes and then I just shut it off because I knew that I was just blabbering at that point and there was no viewers on anyway at that point. I watched the replay and cracked up laughing so hard that I am sure I burned 300 calories if not more!

I will certainly have to work on my broadcasting skills for the future but today I’m chalking it up to a Periscope fail. Thankful for the challenge, thankful for the experience and thankful for the laughter. Now maybe tomorrow I will try this again. Maybe. Big maybe.🙂

Periscope-fail

 

 

(Day 13) Thankful for my Grandsons

0a160f207d0fdbfe2fb08ebfff6b4519Today I had the opportunity to hang out with my 3 and 6-year-old grandsons. Did you know that children of these ages have a ton of energy? Good grief, now I know why I had my children when I was young. I’m too old to keep up with these boys. Oh but they are so precious. The quiet conversations that they have are so innocent one minute and then they switch gears and are rambunctious as ever. The questions they ask are thought-provoking. The love they show is unconditional. I was reading a book while the boys were playing with a pirate set and suddenly they were more interested in what I was reading. It’s those little moments that just put the biggest smile on my face.

Whenever I hang out with my grandsons I tend to think about what Jesus said ” And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 18:2-4 ESV

What did Jesus mean by that? I think maybe He meant that we are to be abandoned in our trust. Children have a way of trusting that is far beyond adult comprehension. Children don’t worry about things like we do, they trust that their parents or grandparents are going to provide for all of their needs. Children love to learn and they believe what they learn. (Yes, they ask why a million times but that’s just because they want to know everything!) Children are innocent, humble and teachable. I’m sure I could mention many other things. The point is, Jesus wants us to trust Him with our lives.

I am thankful for my grandsons and I am thankful that the Lord uses them to bring life to His Word.